LEAD: PARTIES WITH A PURPOSE Dinners Around Town

PARTIES WITH A PURPOSE Dinners Around Town

Oct. 15 - From Fifth Avenue to Park Avenue, the Upper West Side to the Upper East Side, Gracie Square to Greene Street, there will 18 dinner parties for one cause: the Women's Campaign Fund. The fund, a bipartisan political committee that provides money and services to women running for local, state and national office, has rounded up scores of notables to add spice to the parties. They include Peter Maas, Gail Sheehy, Clay Felker, Tom Wicker, Joanne Woodward, Jimmy Breslin, Louis Auchincloss, Colleen Dewhurst and Jules Feiffer. The evening starts with cocktails at Sam's Restaurant in the Equitable Center, 156 West 52d Street, after which the 500 guests will head out to 18 Manhattan homes for dinner. Tickets $175; 212-988-3665 or 212-535-6813. Scottish Ball . . .

Oct. 15 - Sprigs of heather, Scotch pine, kilts, bagpipes and British nobility will mark the annual Scottish Ball and dinner at the Plaza, starting with 7 P.M. cocktails. The event benefits cultural and education programs sponsored by the American Scottish Foundation. Tickets $200; 212-988-4468. Dress is black or white tie or kilts. . . . and Danish Dance

Oct. 16 - Danes, sailing buffs and those who like to party to the big-band sounds of the Duke Ellington Orchestra are invited to a Waldorf-Astoria dinner-dance in honor of Wilhelm Hansen, captain of the tall ship Danmark. The black-tie evening will benefit programs of the Danish American Society. Tickets $110; 212-949-2322. Brooklyn Extravaganza

Oct. 16 - The Brooklyn Conservatory of Music is celebrating its 90th anniversary with a nightlong event that starts with champagne at Grand Prospect Hall in the Park Slope section of Brooklyn. The hall, at 263 Prospect Avenue, near Fifth Avenue, is an 1880 opera house where Caruso sang and Al Capone had a box. Dinner will be accompanied by operatic highlights and piano and violin music. At midnight, a jazz ensemble from the Conservatory takes over and plays into the morning. Tickets $50; 212-947-5850 or 718-875-1289. Gay Rights Benefit

Oct. 17 - At the Waldorf-Astoria, there will be cocktails at 7 P.M. followed by dinner, a musical presentation from ''Les Miserables,'' dancing and an award presentation to Patty Duke. The black-tie evening benefits the Human Rights Campaign Fund, a lobby for the civil rights of homosexual men and women. Tickets $200; 212-838-6033. Morning Treat

Oct. 17 - The Regency, on Park Avenue at 61st Street, will take on the appearance of a circus to benefit the Big Apple Circus and the scholarship fund of the New York School for Circus Arts. Children and their parents are welcome at a breakfast presided over by fledgling circus performers: jugglers, mimes, clowns, a unicyclist and others. From 9 to 11 A.M. Tickets, $50 for adults, $25 for children; 212-841-1205. Briefly Noted:

Oct. 17 - The Living Visions Ensemble and the Sine Nomine Singers, professional choral groups, will perform a joint 8 P.M. concert at St. Francis Xavier Roman Catholic Church at 30 West 16th Street to benefit the 30th anniversary of the Fourth World Movement, a volunteer group aiding the poor. Refreshments follow. Tickets $8, from 212-228-1339; $10 at the door.

Oct. 18 - The Child Care Action Campaign, active in a wide range of child-care issues, is holding a cocktail and awards party and silent auction at Sotheby's from 6:30 to 8:30 P.M. Tickets $100; 212-334-9595.

Oct. 18 - The Leukemia Society of America will benefit from a 5:30 P.M. cocktail party at the Marriott Marquis followed by a 7 P.M. show at Town Hall of excerpts from 10 recent Broadway musicals. Tickets are $100 from 212-679-1939, or $35, $40 and $45 for performance alone, from 212-947-5850 or at the box office.

Oct. 19 - University Settlement heads into its second century of service with a buffet dinner and entertainment at St. Peter's Church at the Citicorp Center starting at 6:30 P.M. Tickets $125; 212-674-9120, extension 141.

Oct. 19 - Theatreworks, the creator and producer of theater for young and family audiences will hold a black-tie dinner-dance on the Starlight Roof of the Waldorf-Astoria with highlights from musicals. Cocktails at 7 P.M. Tickets $175; 212-677-5959.

Oct. 19 - The International Center for the Disabled will hold its annual black-tie awards dinner at the Waldorf-Astoria starting with 6 P.M. cocktails. Tony Bennett and Roberta Flack will entertain. Tickets $350; 212-679-0100, extension 329. Duke Ellington Benefit

Oct. 19 - A statue and park memorial is planned for one of the city's most notable citizens, the creator of a special brand of jazz. The Duke Ellington Memorial is planned for the northeast corner of Central Park and to help raise funds, a ''Salute the Duke'' benefit will be held at Avery Fisher Hall. Jessye Norman and Bobby Short will head the list of entertainers at the 8 P.M. performance. Patricia Buckley will be the hostess of a dinner afterwards on the promenade, with dancing to the New Deal Orchestra. Tickets, $300 and $500, from 212-874-4098, and $15, $25, $35 and $50 for the performance alone from 212-874-6770.